In case you are wondering, I still think about what we could have been. Maybe you are standing next to me, asking how my day went as we wait for the jeepney, ready to head home together, even though our destinations are miles apart. Maybe you are holding the umbrella we bought together—black, because we thought it looked cool, even though it absorbs more heat, but that did not matter since we planned to use it when the rain began to fall. Maybe we are laughing, splashing water on each other because one of us said the corniest joke. Maybe we are still sitting in front of the tailor shop near school, talking about life. Perhaps we are walking along the uneven sidewalk on the street we named Cornelia. Maybe we are still debating who is better—was it the guy who checked our classroom for cleanliness or you? Maybe we are still dreaming about owning a big house somewhere far from this city, because we both disliked it here, remember? Maybe you are still jokingly saying you’d track me down and "kill me" if I ever left you behind like ashes. Maybe you are still being the sassiest person I have ever met because you always roll your eyes when I am making a joke instead of bursting out laughing. Maybe you are still in character as a storyteller because you used to tell me how your grandmother says you are going to catch a cold because you always drink slurpee from the convenience store near school. Maybe I am still throwing up tantrums because the subject teacher I hate annoys me again. Maybe you are still sending me weird memes because you think you ate LOL. and maybe.. just maybe you still waited up until I stepped my foot outside the classroom because I stayed late again. And in case you still want to ask me if I ever wonder? Yes, I do. May or may not do justice to all you have been through because of me. I still wonder what we could have been if maybe I am not a person who is cruel enough to unnoticed your existence. Because maybe the world did not stop when you and I are not sharing an umbrella anymore. Because maybe the air is still the same when I am walking alone in the different street. Because maybe I can keep my jokes and tell them to other people. Because maybe I can handle taking my own destination which I recall to do with you. Because maybe I can listen to other stories where I can share mine. Because maybe it will become practical not to leave the city. Because maybe the people I hate become the person I am. Because maybe I already stepped out as early as you can be. Because maybe it was just a phase where I learned the feelings. May or may not be you and I, the thing I learned will lead me as follows until the road even become polished and the tailor shop finally says that people should not stay late because they will finally turn off the lights.
